A Bladder Exercise for Beer Drinkers (Men Only)

I drink a lot of beer at night. Every night!  A strong and healthy bladder, to me, is very important.
To this end, I’ve worked-up an afternoon exercise to help strengthen the bladders of other, fellow beer drinkers, across America.  Calisthenics for the bladder, if you will.

WATER.

That’s all you need.  WATER. Well . . . . . . not quite all. It goes without saying when you combine “water” and “bladders” there should be a bathroom nearby.

Here’s how I personally do the exercise.  (You may have to change some things to suit your own, personal preference.)

Starting at about three or four in the afternoon, (there needs to be about seven hours minimum between the end of the bladder exercise and the commencement of the nightly beer consumption), what I do,  is to take my ounce,  BPA free, Nalgene water bottle and fill it full of ice water.   The idea here, and pardon my elaboration, is to expand and deflate the bladder over a period of two hours.  The bladder is expanded by drinking water.  The opposite,  or bladder-deflation,  is accomplished by peeing.  The routine is to drink, then pee; drink, then pee; and drink, then pee.  I call it the DRINK THEN PEE BLADDER EXERCISE PROCEDURE or D. T. P. B. E. P. for short.

An afternoon of trotting back and forth to the urinal not only builds up the bladder’s stamina but stretches like a balloon, the bladder’s side-wall muscle. A strong side-wall muscle is essential when it comes to peeing forcibly, and to beer drinkers, there are not many things more important than peeing forcibly. If you’ve ever worn white socks with sandals in a public place, and have to go stand in front of a urinal in the bathroom, you know what I mean.  If your pecker pushing power is not up to snuff, gets loose, and your pecker points in the wrong direction those white socks may take a direct hit.  No one, but no one, will believe that your socks have been TYE DYED.  If you’re re-joining a party, and your wife is there, she will not be happy.

Not only will this exercise keep you from being a weak pee’er but it will also increase the volume capacity of your bladder, and that or course; means fewer bathroom breaks.  The downside is, you quite possibly will develop a “sloshing sound” when you walk.  But hey, everything's a trade-off.
Try this exercise for a couple of weeks and see if it helps your nightly beer drinking enjoyment. If you have any tips or methods of improving on this exercise, please let me know.

 C. Allen Benson